Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
