i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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