Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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