she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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