Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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