i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
