He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
