They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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