I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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