why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
