Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize