did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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