What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
