maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
