Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
