I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I didn't notice because vodka
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
