Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
