You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
