ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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