So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
