I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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