We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
