He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
