and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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