turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
