I forgot how hot balto sounded
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
