her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
