I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
