You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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