I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
