Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
People in love make me want to vomit
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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