So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
