Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
