Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
