Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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