You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize