i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
