I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
