Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
