Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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