Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
