I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
