Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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