She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
