So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
This girl is more easily done than said...
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
