we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
