i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
