mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
