My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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