I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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