Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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