we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
