I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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