What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
