pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
