hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
