You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
