do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
3pm strippers are depressing
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
