he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
