hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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