I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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