If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
